There ain’t no sanity clause

I understand there has been some talk amongst the local brethren concerning an item on tomorrow’s City Council meeting agenda designed "to adopt minimum requirements for board and commission membership." The misunderstandings that I’ve heard involve rumors that the city is about to form a vigilante morality police force to enforce some kind of morality clause in this proposed policy.

To paraphrase Chico Marx, "There ain’t no morality clause."

I do understand where that idea might stem from. A staff memo accompanying the proposed policy reads, in part, "New applicants for volunteer positions should demonstrate the morals and character traits expected of regular city employees." That, however, is a desire, not a policy, much like a character trait you desire in a spouse..

Let’s say you’re a guy who’s met a young lady in your local church group. You’re attracted to her and finally work up the courage to ask her out on a date. Eventually you begin to realize that this is the girl of your dreams, the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, the perfect person to be the mother of the children you hope to raise together. She demonstrates the morals and character traits you want in a spouse. You decide to marry. A few years into your idyllic life together as man and wife you learn that this girl had a one-time dalliance with Billy Bob in the bed of his pickup truck one night in the woods some 10 years earlier. Does that change who this person is? Of course not. It may unfairly warp your perception of her, but it doesn’t change who she is in any way.

Here’s the deal here: Don’t confuse the memo with the policy. Here, in full, is the proposed policy the council is expected to consider tomorrow night:

• An official job description for the vacant position on the Board or Commission will be created and posted to the city’s website under the volunteer applications page. The city may take any additional measures it determines necessary to ensure there is sufficient awareness of an appointment opportunity.
• An application for the vacant position will be posted to the city’s website on the volunteer applications page. The application must be completed by any person wishing to be considered for the position prior to 5 p.m. on the date identified in the posting as the final day for application submission.
• City staff will evaluate applications from those citizens who meet the city charter’s basic criteria for membership in a first-round evaluation. Staff may determine that the size and/or qualifications of those in the applicant pool are insufficient and reopen the application or otherwise extend the deadline to allow time for more citizens to apply.
• Based on the first round of evaluation of the applications, applicants that are determined to best meet the requirements of the Board or Commission position will be selected to participate in a second-round interview process conducted by city staff, which will serve as an opportunity for both parties to familiarize themselves with the position(s) being filled, and the prospective candidate(s).
• The final candidate(s) will be selected from the interview process and will be presented to the Mayor and City Council for confirmation at a regular city council meeting. The final candidate must be present at the meeting and will have an opportunity to make a statement regarding their candidacy and to answer any questions that the city council may ask.

That’s it. Read it carefully. Nothing to get that worked up about. There’s nothing in there that could be interpreted as a morality requirement, a morality clause.

There’s not even a sanity clause.