Where is Jack McCoy when we need him

One particular sentence from a request for a proposal issued by the City in its attempt to find prosecuting attorneys for the Municipal Court knocked me back — way, way back. "The City of Kyle Municipal Court administers approximately 6,000 cases annually." Did anyone else outside city government have any clue the number was that high?

Later in the RFP I discovered "approximately 42 percent will result in arrest warrants to be issued." I’m guessing that means 2,520 of the 6,000 cases actually come before the Municipal Court for prosecution. But I also learned Municipal Court is only in session one day a week, on Wednesdays, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. "except on holidays observed by the City of Kyle." So let’s say there is an average of four of those Wednesday holidays every year. That means some 52 cases come before the court each Wednesday or slightly more than seven per hour. And as the city grows, that number is only going to go up.

But there’s also this little nugget. The bid request said the attorney(s) who win the bid will only have to "be available before the Municipal Court on every 1st and 3rd Wednesday," which, (1) to me, doubles that weekly workload, and (2) leaves me to wonder what happens in Municipal Court on the second and fourth Wednesdays.

Admittedly, these figures might be slightly overstated, that perhaps far less than the 42 percent represents the actual cases that come before the court, But, still.

The obvious thing for me to do here is to hang out at the Municipal Court some Wednesday but, at present, Wednesdays are reserved as the day I spend with my granddaughter and nothing — absolutely nothing — takes precedence over that.

The Municipal Court only hears cases involving Class C misdemeanors (Texas is one of only seven states in the country that has a Class C misdemeanor criminal classification). Examples of such nefarious crimes are most traffic tickets, disorderly conduct, public intoxication, "hot" checks of less than $20, simple assault, criminal trespassing, gambling, bail jumping, leaving a child in a vehicle (which, if I were emperor of the world, would be a capital offense), petty theft such as shoplifting under $50, possession of an alcoholic beverage in a motor vehicle, a minor driving under the influence of alcohol, a minor in possession of tobacco, possession of drug paraphernalia. Code violations also come to municipal court. The maximum penalty imposed for Class C misdemeanors is a fine of not more than $500, and there is no jail time imposed.

The city is looking for individual attorneys or law firms to submit bids that must be received no later than 2 p.m. Monday, May 23. It is expected the City Council will name someone or a group of someones to handle this chore at its second meeting next month, Tuesday, June 21.